Sometimes, people are just absolutely sure about how events will play out. In their eyes, it's already a Foregone Conclusion. They're so sure, in fact, that they feel the need to stress how it's not a matter of if things will turn out like they believe. It's a matter of when.
Note that this trope requires putting particular emphasis on using when and not if; a statement that casually assumes a future event will happen doesn't count. Also, this trope doesn't necessarily require the statement to end up being right. In fact, examples of this are often followed by Break the Haughty or double as Tempting Fate.
Can overlap with Badass Boast if it's a statement about accomplishing a difficult task. Sub-Trope of Insistent Terminology.
Examples:
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Comedy
- In one of his bits, John Mulaney jokes about a detective who used to give presentations at his former elementary school about stranger danger but would refer to the prospect of the children getting kidnapped as inevitable rather than an avoidable situation.
"-Okay, so when you get kidnapped—" when, not if!
Comic Strips
- Peanuts: Linus claims that the Great Pumpkin will only want to rise out of someone's pumpkin patch if the person says, "when he comes," not "if he comes."
Fan Works
- The Arithmancer: In the last arc of the sequel Annals of Arithmancy, Hermione is accused of treason for proposing a controlled takedown of the Statute of Secrecy, with the ICW fearing a repeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald's attempt to have wizards rule over muggles. However, Hermione insists that due to the proliferation of cameras and computers, the law will inevitably fail eventually and it's better to manage it than be blindsided.
Hermione: Exponential growth. Say my figures are way off. Say we can keep the secret until 2040, or 2050. That's another thousand-fold increase in computing power. By 2050, there's every chance that basically every foot of public space will be under constant, real-time surveillance from a remote location. Any magic not performed specifically in our world will be detected. Accidental magic from muggle-borns will derail any attempt to cover it up. And remember, the muggles don't have to detect all of it—just a few instances that we can't cover up in time, and that's what's going to happen by 2030, if not sooner.
Films — Animated
- Hercules: Inverted for Pain and Panic, who take comfort in using "if" instead of "when" in the slightest possibility that they may not face Hades's wrath. When they fail to kill Hercules as a mortal baby, Panic says, "Hades is gonna kill us when he finds out!" Pain then replies, "You mean if he finds out," to which Panic says, "'If.' 'If' is good." Hades does eventually find out, though, and punishes them. The duo have a similar exchange at the end of the movie when Herc knocks Hades into the River Styx: "You mean if he gets out of there!"
Films — Live-Action
- Babe: Arthur Hoggett decides to enter a county fair contest to guess the titular pig's weight. As he leaves, one of the two contest organizers at the stand tells him they'll call him if he wins, only for the other to insist, "When you win, Arthur! When you win!" since Hoggett was the only person who was able to pick up Babe without the pig squealing. Sure enough, Arthur gets a phone call the next day telling him he won the pig.
- Brassed Off: When the closure of the coal mine is looking very likely, there is a relay of "if" and "when" this might happen, reflecting the optimism or pessimism of various characters and how most of the band players intend to pack in the band if the pit closes.
Harry: Danny, you've got to face it. If the pit goes, the band goes with it.Andy: When the pit goes.Gloria: If.
Literature
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Sometime after Harry has been given a lifelong ban from playing Quidditch by Professor Umbridge, Ginny says to Harry, "when you're back." Harry reminds her about his ban, but she corrects him, pointing out that it only applies while Umbridge is in the school.
- The Silver Chair: The Eeyore Puddleglum is comically pessimistic about the mission to find the Ruined City of the Ancient Giants.
Jill: We've got to start by finding the Ruined City.Puddleglum: Got to start by finding it. Aren't we allowed to start by looking for it?Jill: That's what I meant, of course. And when we've found it...Puddleglum: Yes, when.
- These Words Are True and Faithful:
"He won't find out.""What makes you so sure of that?""I'll make sure.""Yeah, sure you will. Famous last words. And when he does find out—not if, when—what then?"
Live-Action TV
- Star Trek: Voyager: In one episode, Janeway says in her Captain's Log that it no longer feels like a case of "if" Voyager will return home, but "when."
- Two and a Half Men: After he and Kandi divorce, Alan learns that several of his family members and friends had started a Side Bet about it.
Alan: You were betting that my marriage was gonna fail?Berta: No, we were betting on when.
Theater
- Hamilton: In "A Winter's Ball," when Burr and Hamilton sing about the Schuyler sisters, Hamilton treats himself marrying a sister as inevitable. Indeed, Hamilton does manage to charm two of the three sisters and marries one of them, so his arrogance works out for him.
Burr: Yo, if you can marry a sister, you're rich, son.Hamilton: Is it a question of if, Burr, or which one?
Video Games
- In XCOM: Chimera Squad, the Sacred Coil arc's background involves a plague affecting hybrids. It's possible to see a memo from Dr Richard Tygan mentioning that given how the plague has been progressing, it's not a matter of whether it will jump species, but when.
Web Original
- Dragon Ball Z Abridged: Vegeta refers to Mr. Popo as "Black Man" one too many times and is promptly thrown off the edge of the watchtower.
Yajirobe: See? I told you it would happen.Korin: 'Twas never a matter of "if," (takes a sip of his tea while Vegeta hits the ground with a ground-shaking thud) only "when."
Western Animation
- The Berenstain Bears: Inverted in one episode in which both Brother and Sister decide to try out for a little league baseball team, the Bear Country Cardinals. Lenny jokingly suggests to Brother that Sister might make the team instead of him, causing Brother to lose his confidence. This leads to him accidentally falling into a pond while playing baseball with his friends, upon which he grumbles that he won't have to worry about these kinds of things when he makes the Cardinals team. Lenny then promptly corrects, "You mean if you make the Cardinals."
- It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown: Played for Laughs when Linus accidentally says "if" the Great Pumpkin comes, Sally will be sorry she missed it, and it's then presented as him having a Crisis of Faith.
Linus: OH, NO! I said "if"! I mean WHEN he comes! I'm doomed. One little slip like that can cause the Great Pumpkin to pass you by!
- Total Drama: In the first season, shortly before the challenge for the final three competitors, Heather declares that when she wins, she'll have her own show titled, The World According To Heather. Guess who gets eliminated at the end of the episode?
