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so, I know this exists somewhere and the page on vetinari talks about it but offers no link or title.
Since the Patrician in Colour of Magic and Light Fantastic was so different lots of people had supposed it was in fact not Vetinari. That's untill Pratchett himself came along and said that it was Vetinari but he wasn't that good at writing him at the time.
Part of the fans refused to believe him - he's only the author, what does he know? - and part of the fans decided he had gone on a diet (Pratchett himself suggested he had lost weight due to the stress of the job).
But there came along someone who wrote a short story - and posted it and it was lovable and Pterry himself liked it - about how the Patrician wasn't really fat. You remember that candied jellyfish he used to eat all the time? it was from some kind of blowfish and retained the blowing ability. He looked fat. He had to actually pay attention not to be to agile because he didn't weight what he looked. He just used it to lull the other guild leaders into a false sense of security while he consolidated his power. The moment he decided to make his move he would just need to stop eating the jellyfish and wait until the toxin left his body. A pity really, he did find the candied jellyfish quite palatable...
So anyway, I have no idea of where I read the story the first time or how I got there. There may or may not have been a post by Pterry himself. Help please, my ability to find things on the internet is in the negative numbers